TRIALS AND STRESS... Bachaooo!

Dear sisters,

Asalamoalaikum. Sorry, haven't been writing lately... blame my busy schedule and STRESS!

More often than not, we are under constant stress because of one reason or another. School, family problems, work, getting chores done, cooking, long drives, living up to the expectations of family and friends, getting groceries, paying rent, looking and acting our best, fulfilling religious duties, running behind schedule, taking care of kids, and a whole bunch of other personal issues (even the most tiny, insignificant, almost non-existent factors like loosing a hijab pin) all contribute greatly to our stress.

These days worrying about something is the norm and a person who is at peace is the odd one out. Many of us hate Mondays (the start of yet another crazy week) and wait eagaerly for the weekend, when life seems to pause for a while... and then it's back to the "kaam, kaam, kaam, aur sirf kaam" moto of Qaid-e-Azam. But why are there so many trials in life? Why can't everything just go smoothly and perfectly? Why must we spend the greater part of our day worrying about something or the other? If you were a kid like me, who hated tests and exams in school, then perhaps by now you know that those were nothing compared to the REAL tests and trials of this world.

For a moment I need you to forget about everything you are worried about (short and long term) *not trying to brainwash you or anything, just work with me here inshallah* and ponder over the following verses of the Quran.

Allah (swt) says: "He Who created death and life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving. (Surah Al-Mulk 67: 2)

Allah (swt) says: "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me" (Surah Adh-Dhariyat 51:56)

That is the true purpose of life... to worship Allah (swt) and here we are, stressed and obsessed about worldly affairs. You might wonder how we can possibly worship Allah (swt) day and night, for as long as we live. The simple answer is to learn the correct definition of worship/ ibaadah. If you think ibadaah is to pray salah, fast, give charity, and perform hajj, then certainly, it would be impossible to perform ibaadah 24/7 and at the same time live a productive life in this dunya. But that's not all it means.

Did you know? "Islam" means submission to Allah and "Muslim" means the one who submits his will to Allah. Hence, ibadaah means to do any act in accordance with Islamic principles. For instance, if a mother takes good care of her children to please Allah (swt), that is ibaadah. If you sleep with the intention of waking up for fajr, your sleep is ibaadah. If you visit the sick and help the poor because that is what Allah (swt) wants us to do, that is ibaadah. If you look in the mirror one last time before going out, to make sure you are dressed to please Allah not people, that is ibaadah. Even if you smile and show mercy to a loved one, that is ibaadah. I'm sure you'd agree now that performing ibaadah every day of our lives is very much doable alhumdulillah. Keeping the purpose of life in mind, we must remind ourselves to worry about pleasing Allah (swt) as opposed to spending all our time and energy worrying about insignificant matters.

Allah (swt) says: "And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient, Who say, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”: They are those on whom (descend) Blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

Here, Allah (swt) clearly mentions that trials are inevitable and that we WILL be tested. Once we understand that all the problems we face are indeed tests from Allah (swt), it would become easier to endure them with His help inshallah. Let's face it, all our problems and worries will end sooner or later, only the ultimate question will remain even after death: Did we do enough to succeed in the hereafter? and THAT is what we should be worried about the MOST. All our other worries seem a lot less important now don't they?

Here's a beautiful hadeeth about believers and trials :)

Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is good for him” (Muslim)

Here's what we should do to cope with stress:
1) When you run into a problem, say:

 "To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”
Us desies like to recite this ONLY when we hear of someone's death... but if we say it every time we encounter a problem or loss, we will be reminded of the true purpose of life and in turn, will be able to face the trial with patience instead of stressing out and falling in depression.
2) Be patient... remember, Allah is with those who are patient. If you do this, with each trial your sins will decrease :)
3) Get into the habit of thanking Allah (swt) for everything... because it could always be worse.
4) Increase your ibaadah, for "In the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest" (Quran 13:28)

So whether you're worried about financial problems, family problems, or anything else... remind yourself that it is only temporary, just like this life. We need to stay focused on succeeding in the hereafter... because that will be ever lasting. And remember, "With every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief" (Surah Al-Inshirah 94: 6)... So hang in there! Good times might be right around the corner inshallah! :)

This post is dedicated to a dear friend who suggested this topic <3


Sincerely,
D.M.